Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
