Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
