I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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