Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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