Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
