i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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