Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize