you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
