I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
