You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
