My room smells like vodka and shame
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
