@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
