I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Four minutes until I can fart!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think my moral compass just broke
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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