Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
