I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
