Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
bring money and cleavage
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you made out with another girl for some wings
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
