i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize