omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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