Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
