I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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