So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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