office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
