I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
