Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you still have your period?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am one with the molecules
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
