you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So many bounce houses so little time
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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