dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
