so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
