I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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