Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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