roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Someone signed my nipple.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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