Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize