Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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