i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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