Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
