kristin has been a bad kristin
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
