bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
