Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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