I wish i was in the wii world.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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