i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
