Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize