I want to make a zoo with you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
