YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
