Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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