I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
