I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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