This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize