Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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