my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
