As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Pooping to opera.
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