I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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