So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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