I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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