so that wasnt chicken after all
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
