you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
