why didn't you poke me back
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
