Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
my nose is crying tears of wow.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize