I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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