She said her name was "party"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
