I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
His nipple licking is glorious
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