YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
