Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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