I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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