wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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