They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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