Having a random hookup so left but love u
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
