I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
