I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
