my phone needs a breathalizer
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
